Last year I tried something new, I let my heart open and as the barriers that surrounded it slowly fell away, I fell in love. If you’ve known me a long time, you know this is not easy for me. I’ve been running from love because it fucking hurts. And it’s also really beautiful! Glennon Doyle uses the term - brutiful. Brutal and beautiful all at the same time.
My relationship with my lover ended when he moved away this past spring. I made a choice to not close my heart this time. I made a choice to not completely numb the pain. I mean let’s be honest, there was some numbing. I made the choice to give myself some space to feel. Feeling my broken heart is brutal and the experience of growth that allowed me to love is so beautiful!
Here’s a few things that help me move through feeling of being broken and being stuck (maybe they will help you too):
Talk therapy - check out New Refuge Counseling. Jeanine is great!
Daily breathwork practice - Big shout out to Alicia Barmon for holding space for us each morning. More info about this here!
Acupuncture - check out Soul Garden Acupuncture, Courtney is an actual angel!
Journaling and writing - whatever creative outlet you choose, getting thoughts out of your
Community - remember, you are not alone! Surrounding myself with people that are good listeners, comforting, and compassionate. The people that can help lift you up in times of need may not be who you think they’d be. As you’re leaning into others for support, find someone you can help and support too. You don’t have to be healed and whole to offer the special gifts you have to share.
Here’s a poem I wrote.
Keep Going…
One foot in front of the other as I breathe in the greens, golds, and oranges of the fall season.
The cool breeze brings goosebumps and at the same time, the sun meets my skin with warmth.
Fresh air through my nostrils, filling my lungs with life - oxygenating my muscles and bones.
Still going… one foot in front of the other as my heart fills with the joy of transformation.
Absorbing the messages from the leaves…
Shedding, letting the dead parts of me fall away.
Excitement is here as I welcome what will fill this space I’m creating.
One foot in front of the other as I move through this life, stumbling with grace.
One foot in front of the other as I breathe in the spices of life - Cinnamon, Apple, Pumpkin, Maple
Love, Loss, Loneliness, Wholeness, Grief, and Gratitude