When people have been asking me how I’ve been for the past couple weeks, my answer has been - uninspired, unmotivated, and unproductive. As I sit with these words, I notice they are all telling me the things I am NOT… there’s that not enoughness again. So I wonder now… what am I? I am soft, I am kind, I am an ocean of love. I am held, I am supported, I am small, I am big, I am shadow, I am light, I am a mountain, I am a tree, I am a leaf, I am the moon, I am the stars, I am the sun. And in this moment, I can feel the sun shining into my third eye - helping me remember my wisdom, my inner knowing of who I really am.
Although those feelings are true and valid, I know there are some other truths alongside the the lack of motivation, production, and inspiration. Just as my clients need me to remind them of the permission they have to rest, to not do ALL the things, to cancel plans, to play instead of work… I need reminders too. I have a team in which I get to do this life with: besties, companions, family, sangha, therapists, ancestors, strangers, trees, rivers, oceans, moon angels, mushrooms, and so much more! And they remind me that I don’t have to do all the things, I can spend an hour meeting crying instead of getting through the agenda, I can cancel plans to stay at home and be quiet, I can rest not only because I am tired, but just to just dream. I am reminded when I think I’m not good enough, I can come back to my heart. I can come back home to what I value - kindness, compassion, courage, and community.
I am reminded this is the season of letting go, shedding, and slowing down. I don’t have to worry too much about things that aren’t happening right now. I can show up in any way I need to - sometimes I won’t have much to give, sometimes I have a little to give, sometimes I have a lot to give, sometimes I show up with the need to just receive. No matter how full or empty my cup is I can always show up with love and kindness… because that is ALWAYS available.
A Practice For You:: Resting is a Peaceful Act of Rebellion
If you’re feeling interested in taking a little rest, here’s a practice. Can you find the courage to set aside some time to practice love, kindness, compassion for yourself? Maybe gather some others in your support circle and do the practice together. Can’t get together in person? Explore another way… facetime while you both rest. Or Reach out to me… I’ll hop on a zoom with you and rest. This is a 30 min practice - grab a bunch of pillows and blankies and hit play
Resting in Rebellion
Self-Care & Svādhyāya (Self-Study)
If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. These systems are not set up for most of us to thrive. If you’re stuck in the overproduction and still feeling not enough… Or if you’re sleeping, but you’re still exhausted… or if you’re feeling disconnected to the life that is right in front of you - let’s chat! I don’t have a cure for you, but I have a container. If you need a soft space to land and be cared for that feels safe and comforting or you need some tools, please reach out. Part of the work I do in Calm & Connected 1:1 Self-Care Coaching is use somatic experiencing, breathwork, and rest to build your self-care tool box.
Rest is a fierce and gentle practice that allows you to rewrite the narratives that keep you small, stuck, and trapped in cycles of unworthiness.”
-Octavia Raheem